“Even When It Hurts” (An adoption story – learning to trust God’s will)

1 Corinthians 2:9 – “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him…”

This verse takes me back to a church service a few weeks back where the message’s theme centered around the need to focus on desiring Christ’s presence in our lives. You see – about 3.5 years ago, my husband and I began trying to conceive our first child – after over a year of failed attempts, month after month, we began exploring other options. Eventually, after coming to the option of adoption- our conversations came to sudden hault. It was as if we both knew this was the path for us yet we were so uncertain about it that neither one of us was really jumping for the reigns to take charge. We had countless discussions surrounding IVF, IUI, surgeries, and more – and each and every time we landed back at adoption.

Life got stressful. Things didn’t seem to be falling in place and and it really seemed like we were going to hit rock bottom.

One day – after the dust had settled – and a church service message relayed the thought about following God’s plan for your life and allowing him to control – we surrendered our hearts to the calling of adoption and began to research the process.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your way’s acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”

I sang a song in church called “even when it hurts” by Hillsong – the lyrics go like this:

Take this fainted heart
Take these tainted hands
Wash me in your love
Come like grace again

Even when my strength is lost
I’ll praise you
Even when I have no song
I’ll praise you
Even when it’s hard to find the words
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

Take this mountain weight
Take these ocean tears
Hold me through the trial
Come like hope again

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise you
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise you
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise

And my heart burns only for you
You are all you are all I want
And my soul waits only for you
And I will sing till the morning has come

Lord my heart burns only for you
You are all you are all I want
And my soul waits only for you
And I will sing till the miracle comes

I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise
I will only sing your praise

Even when the morning comes
I’ll praise you
Even when the fight is won
I’ll praise you
Even when my time on earth is done
Louder then I’ll sing your praise

I will only sing your praise

I rehearsed this song in the car over and over again – often with my eyes closed as to keep myself from crying. “God, I am at the end of the road – please take this where we need to go” – I prayed on repeat for what seemed like ages.

This song became my anthem – no matter how long or hard this journey has been – I will sing your praise. I will keep fighting for your presence. This was October 2016 – We had been anxiously waiting for an adoption match for over 9 months and had been waiting over 2 years for that precious baby in our family.

About 2 weeks later – after leading this song in church – we got that phone call – a birth mother had requested to speak with us.

My emotions were going haywire and I had no idea how to proceed in this uncharted territory – but that was it. We were matched.

I had no idea that those conversations so early on would set our family on such a miraculous journey but I am so glad it did.  The sermon I mentioned at the very beginning of this post reflected on the idea of needing to focus on desiring Christ’s presence in our lives.

I am here to tell you that the journey of infertility can be long and the journey through adoption can be long – lifelong!  However, if that is you, and you are navigating this part of your life. Know there are people to speak to, know you are not alone, draw closer to our heavenly father and ask for him to take charge.

Even when the fight seems lost
I’ll praise you
Even when it hurts like hell
I’ll praise you
Even when it makes no sense to sing
Louder then I’ll sing your praise.

-xoxo

 

 

 

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Decisions: Day Two of #365morningmotivations

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Day Two of #365morningmotivations

(FOR THE OTHER DAYS OF MORNING MOTIVATIONS- SEE HERE )

Theme: Decisions.

For this motivation I am going to turn to these Young Living Essential Oils:

  • Stress Away – for those positive vibes we all desperately need.
  • Joy – self explanatory
  • Clarity – to help us see through the mucky waters and make choices
  • Highest Potential – for that little boost telling you to be your best.

Today I’ve got a couple drops of Stress Away in my diffuser and topically applied Joy and Highest Potential to my neck and  Clarity over my heart.

(REMEMBER: IF YOU NEED YOUR OWN OILS- YOU CAN GET YOUR STARTER KIT HERE OR IF YOU HAVE THEM AND YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ON USAGE CHECK OUT MY POST ON DIFFERENT WAYS TO USE OILS HERE. )

OK- So.. decisions. Decisions, Decisions, Decisions…. am I right? They are always there to be made and sometimes the fork in life that we are facing is hard!  Have you ever felt like the events in your life or the decisions you are needing to make seem harder than the lives of those around you?  I certainly felt that way for a long time and still do from time to time – I’m  human. However, I am writing this to remind you of these things:

  1. you are loved regardless
  2. make the decisions for you and only you
  3. we all handle stress in our own ways
  4. its ok.

“You are loved Regardless” – Hebrews 13:5 says “I will never leave nor will I forsake you”  Jesus explicitly tells us that we will never been given any challenge that we cannot handle. God loves you as do your family and friends. If you are faced with a tough decision or going through something rough in life – its OK to lean on those around you.

“Make the decisions for you and only you” – I am currently going through some tough decision making and a friend recently turned to me a said “there is no wrong answer as long as its best for you”.  I cannot tell you the kind of pressure those simple words lifted off of my shoulders. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have the goal of being a millionaire but your friend does. Your goals are your goals. Your decisions are your decisions. Choose whats best for you and those that care about you will get in line.

“We all handle stress in our own ways” –  Stress can have a big impact on our lives. But what we must realize is that sometimes it is OK to take a break. Realizing how stress creeps into our daily routines and taking action to reduce it can often have a big impact on the clarity we have on the decisions to be made. If you are faced with big choices- don’t stress- time will tell what the correct route is. Acknowledge your stress and take a walk, exercise, meditate, etc.

“Its OK” – that’s a simple one. It really truly is OK. Its OK to not know what the right choice is or to feel like you don’t know what you are doing. The truth is that no adult really does?! The biggest thing I learned stepping into the real world after graduating college is that adults are just giant children making things up as they go. Its OK – just do your best.

These four points bring me back to the quote above:

“Every Accomplishment Starts with the Decision to Try” 

What that accomplishment is or what that decision/trying looks like is up to you. The point is to get started. One foot in front of the other- one step at a time. It doesn’t matter how big or small those steps are – it just matters that you take a step forward. Nothing worth having is easy – and everything worth having is worth the fight.

Thoughts for the day: Yesterday we talked about Grit, small victories and how you were going to apply it to life. So for today – what decisions led to those small victories? What decisions can you make today that will help you get one step closer to your goals? What are you going to try?

Happy Day 2. 363 more to Go.

-Chelsea

 

Grit: passion, perseverance & stamina

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Day One of #365morningmotivations

(For the other days of morning motivations- see here )

Theme: GRIT.

I chose to start off this thread of morning motivations with a topic very near and dear to my heart. Chances are if you are on the internet searching for some type of daily motivation you may be facing a new chapter of life, a new opportunity, or new hopes and dreams and you are looking for something to harness your excitement and really channel your energy towards the future ahead. Adversely, you may also be facing new challenges, new disappointments, perhaps unexpected circumstances that are leaving you in a negative place and you are looking for those comforting words to pick up and tell you to keep going. That is my goal here – to provide those motivational words that we all need during so many various chapters in our lives.

Each and every one of us is faced with hopes and disappointments alike. You see, its not about what happens to us but how we choose to react to it. Every cell in our bodies is affected by the stresses and emotions we feel so it is important that we stay true to ourselves and really give our bodies the self healing they so desperately need.

For this motivation I am going to turn to these Young Living Essential Oils:

  • Stress Away – These days Stress Away is all I need to support a healthy mentality and it keeps me positive all day long!
  • Valor – hello courage! Whenever I feel like I need a helping hand- this is my go to.
  • Highest Potential – Every feel like you a need little boost to get through a tough day?

Today I am going to put a couple drops of Stress Away in my diffuser while getting ready and topically apply Valor and Highest Potential to my wrists and over my heart.

(Remember: If you need your own oils- you can get your starter kit here or if you have them and you have questions on usage check out my post on different ways to use oils here. )

So- now that we have our bodies taken care of – let’s get back to the motivation! Grit.

“Grit is passion and perseverance.” Have you ever wondered why we as humans have a tendency to shy away from risk? I believe it is due to the idea that risk may not be met with instant gratification in terms of results or maybe not the exact results we wanted. But what If you knew that that success you were searching for was out there if you just stepped outside of your comfort zone? Would you do it? It might be hard- and you really have to believe in yourself, but if you persevere through the hard parts- you can get there!

“Grit is Stamina” – Stamina is the ability to keep going no matter what. God tells us that he will never give us anything that we cannot handle. Life happens- but we would never know when ‘good’ things happened if we didn’t have the disappointments to compare things to.

“Grit is sticking with your future- day in and day out. for years” – keep trying and keep pushing but open yourself up to the process. Rome wasn’t built in a day and if you are trying to make a major change in life or break any habits make sure you understand that it will take work and grind every day for longer than 24 hours.

“Working Hard to make that future a reality- grit is living life like its a marathon not a sprint”.  Take things one step or one day at a time. Push yourself and dedicate yourself to small improvements every day. Don’t diminish the small victories. We all experience trials and tribulations; joys and triumphs in different ways. Allow yourself to experience the now and before you know it that goal will be a reality.

Thoughts for the day: What does Grit look like for your life? How are you going to apply it to your day today?  What small victories have you recently had while in pursuit of that goal that might have been overlooking?

Happy Day 1. 364 more to Go.

-Chelsea

 

 

 

 

Strength in Vulnerability

  
When you think of success- what do think of first? Money, time, family, a nice home, nice cars, vacations, etc? Those items may be what our society deems as evidence of success- but the true question is what defines success for you on an individual level? 

During my time in college as I was looking into the world of teaching so many times we came across the idea that all children are unique in terms of potential, ability and talents yet all are capable of success in their own measures. As we grow and mature as part of the society around us we loose sight of those very differences that outline what ‘success’ means to each of us individually. Now, don’t get me wrong, I personally find a lot of motivation in seeing what opportunities others have opened up for themselves and desiring to obtain that opportunity too- however- I only strive for those that I know will bring joy and happiness to my quality of life. My view on obtaining those opportunities is simple. We each have a unique set of skills and by implementing them to the best of our ability we can push life to the next level. 

But what if while you are reading this you are saying to yourself- yah sure- that’s great and all, but if I only had the time I would make the changes needed to get myself to the next level. I would challenge you to think do you really not have the time or do you simple have a fear of vulnerability? It’s a brash question- but one I ask myself daily when faced with any fork in life’s road. Do I really have an obstacle in my way or am I just afraid of the risks involved with making it happen.

Human kind feels a natural tendency of threat when we are placed in a vulnerable position. But not al vulnerability is bad- on occasion it might just be the very place you find your strength. Think about it- how many great leaders has our world known- how many of them got where they were through struggle, adversity, discomfort, unease? It is through these feelings and positions of vulnerability that great strength and clarity of what our hearts want can be found. 

If you find yourself stuck at a fork in the road- I challenge you to define your own personal successes and allow the position of vulnerability to provide clarity to your hearts desires and your inner strength. When we are weak, so are we strong. 

Tidbit: when I need an extra pick me up of strength and encouragement I like to diffuse valor, grounding and clarity- you can find more info on oils here

-Chelsea 

Choose Gratitude 

  
Today is a day for gratitude. I woke this morning with a calm heart,  rolling over  to see my husband still fast asleep. As I got up to make a coffee I remembered our hotel room had a patio that looked out over the ocean. I grabbed a robe from the closet- my cup of coffee- and my phone and headed or to the patio to relax for the first few moments of the day. 

Sounds nice right? 

It was- but let me let you in on a secret. I skipped a few steps. You see- I woke this morning with a calm heart but also a headache from having wine too late the night before. I rolled over and my husband was fast asleep taking up most of the bed. I got up to make a cup of coffee, put in too much water and the cup was too smal which resulted in spilled coffee all over the counter. I grabbed a robe and went out to patio and listened to all sorts of noises as I attempted to relax viewing the ocean for the first few moments of the day. 

Interesting comparison huh? Same story- same morning. One that approaches the day with a perspective that allows the nuances from each day dictate the mood of the morning and cause frustration and the other approaches the morning from a perspective that chooses gratitude and openness allowing emotional stability and grounding throughout the afternoon. 

The truth? Both stories are real. After I finished my coffee, my husband and I applied some valor essential oil for focus and headed down to the beach for early morning meditation. My focus for the morning was gratitude. Despite how things may seem- whether or not you are where you planned to be or if things are going your way- there are moments in life where we must choose gratitude above all. If I were to tell you my life today is perfect- that would be far from true. However, if I were to tell you I had plenty to be greatful for- you couldn’t get closer to truth. 

Choose gratitude. In all things- every day- choose gratitude. Step back and look at your life from the side of the road- watch your loved ones, friends, family, successes and experiences and be greatful and count them as the blessings they are. 

-Chelsea 

The “A” Word

Have you ever woken up to knots in your stomach, nausea and consistent worry about the day to come? I believe many of us have trekking through this crazy life experience this at least from time to time. In fact, studies have been done showing that most women experience some sort of emotional struggle at some point in their lives. By now you might know that the “A” word is anxiety. For me its always been there, and I grew to think the feeling was normal. All until one day when the unthinkable happened- unexpectedly a very close family member of mine passed away. My emotional health was catapulted into a downward spiral of hurt, pain, stress, and grief. I had a lot of work to do and a lot of healing to process to get back on track with who I knew I was supposed to be.

Did you know that when fragrances are inhaled- they travel to the olfactory membranes in the nose. When these membranes are stimulated by the right fragrance molecules the olfactory nerves in the brain begin receiving electrical pulses. The emotional control center of the brain is located near the olfactory nerves in the limbic system. The limbic system is responsible for controlling heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, stress, and even hormone balance. Because of this, the fragrances of essential oils can have a great effect and provide support for emotional health.

My friends, I am not a doctor, nor do I claim that essential oils provide any replacement for true medical care if needed. All I know is that over the years I have tried many things to help add a little extra support to my emotional health- nothing seemed to provide the extra support I needed on a day to day basis to until I found the power of inhaling/diffusing these little bottles of magic called Essential Oils.

There are many ways to utilize these oils to add support into your day. Diffusing essential oils is a perfect way to improve your home, work and living environments- heck, you can even use a USB diffuser from Young Living right in your car!! The only thing I did differently was add essential oils to my life- message me at happyoilerhaines@gmail.com for more information or comment below and I’ll be happy to help.

To learn about the various ways of using essential oils- check out this post here.

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